Sending Out an SOS

1
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:11,360
Welcome to M4 Medicine, mystery,
mayhem, and sometimes murder.

2
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:14,920
I'm Andrea Marciano and RN with
35 years of experience across

3
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,080
various fields.
From direct patient care in

4
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:19,800
hospitals to home health,
geriatrics, and injury medicine,

5
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:22,200
I face life, death, and
everything in between.

6
00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:25,720
And I'm Crystal Miller and RN
with 13 1/2 years of experience.

7
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,960
My work spans home health,
Hospice, emergency care,

8
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,680
geriatrics, and occupational
health.

9
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:33,640
From the chaos of trauma based
quiet moments with patients,

10
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:35,920
I've seen stories that defy
explanations.

11
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:39,720
We've been friends for over 25
years and as nurses we've shared

12
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:44,040
countless stories that have left
us and our families speechless.

13
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,120
Now we're bringing those stories
and many more to you in

14
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:52,240
medicine, mystery, mayhem, and
sometimes murder.

15
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,040
Each week, we'll uncover cases
that challenge the boundaries of

16
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,600
medicine, sharing the human
stories behind the science.

17
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,520
From puzzling medical mysteries
to shocking real life crimes,

18
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,239
we'll bring you stories that'll
leave you questioning everything

19
00:01:04,239 --> 00:01:06,120
you thought you knew while.
We're both experiencing these

20
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,040
nurses.
We want to make it clear we're

21
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:11,000
not here to give medical advice.
This podcast is about

22
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,320
storytelling, education and
exploration, not diagnosing or

23
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:18,120
treating medical conditions.
This is medicine, mystery,

24
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:22,040
mayhem and sometimes murder.
Let's dive in.

25
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,440
Hey Crystal, how are you doing?
I'm doing pretty well.

26
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:28,560
How are you?
Well, I've been having a very

27
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,600
exciting experience the last few
days.

28
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:38,000
I went to a patient appointment
for my nursing gig and myself

29
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,760
and a few other people in the
patient were in a room doing the

30
00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:42,760
exam.
And all of a sudden we all

31
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,920
started sort of sniffling and
coughing and sneezing.

32
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,600
And we all did it a little bit
here and there during the exam.

33
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:53,080
And then the next day I woke up
and my eyes were hugely swollen

34
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,720
and red and itchy and Bernie and
I felt.

35
00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:00,400
Really, really terrible.
So I treated myself for a day

36
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,200
with antihistamines and ice
packs and such.

37
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:07,880
And then Saturday I woke up and
I could not even open my eyes.

38
00:02:08,759 --> 00:02:12,800
So I went into the urgent care
and I said I believe I have

39
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,440
blephritis and an allergic
response and he said I do too.

40
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,880
And so he said do all the things
you've been doing and I'll give

41
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,960
you some Prednisone.
So now it's we're recording on a

42
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:28,240
Monday and I open my eyes now
and I look normally a little

43
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,840
better than I do, I think right
now.

44
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,120
But as per your statement on the
picture I sent you, I looked

45
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,840
like I was 80 a few days ago.
Yeah, you did.

46
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:40,720
So for those, the best I can
describe it is like she looked

47
00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,960
like she was.
She looked very gaunt.

48
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,440
And I think it's because her
cheeks are swollen and then also

49
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,040
very dark redness under her
eyes.

50
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:53,360
So it looked like.
Yeah, just the swelling kind of

51
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,120
played a trick with my eyes.
It was, I mean, I could I

52
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,760
because I'm a nurse.
I can tell what it is as opposed

53
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,480
to her just being 80 or looking
80.

54
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,640
It is wild.
It is and they've been intensely

55
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:09,920
burning and intensely painful.
And for a while on Saturday it

56
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,280
I, I was a little photo
sensitive to my eyes were

57
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,960
sensitive to the light.
So basically I shut my eyes and

58
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,200
covered my face with an ice pack
most of the day on Friday and

59
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,040
Saturday and I am feeling a lot
better.

60
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,040
But my voice.
Still feels a little.

61
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,880
Yeah, my voice still feels a
little gravelly to me.

62
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:29,120
And I don't have any idea what
responded to because it's

63
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,240
happened to me a while back, I
think multiple years, I can't

64
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,160
remember how, more than six or
seven I think.

65
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,880
And I had a similar response and
had to have a similar treatment.

66
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,040
And I don't like not knowing
what it is because this is

67
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,760
unfair.
So but it didn't affect my

68
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,480
breathing.
I just feel a little hoarse, but

69
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:49,920
I and I but I don't feel sick.
I just that's really weird too.

70
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:54,160
So anyway, I hope to look closer
to my own age or 10 years

71
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,960
younger here real soon.
But my sister had seen a picture

72
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,280
and she thought I had eyeshadow
on on the top of my eyes, but I

73
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,280
did it was just, it was just
red.

74
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,040
I have had no no makeup on since
Thursday.

75
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,640
And I mean, and I do have a
really intensive process of

76
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:14,520
putting mascara on at any rate,
but no, I, I haven't had, I

77
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,839
haven't had anything at all
because my, my eyes have been so

78
00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,160
irritated anyway.
And I've been trying very hard

79
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,960
not to be grumpy.
But I can tell you that Max

80
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,320
probably believes that I have
been because I have been.

81
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,880
All right, my dear.
Well, what do you have for us

82
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,480
today?
Well, today I was talking to

83
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,240
some friends about the title of
our podcast.

84
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,760
Actually, as I was talking to
him about it, I thought wouldn't

85
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:41,400
it be interesting to take on
mystery from a different

86
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,760
viewpoint?
So we're going to talk about

87
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,240
some things that people have
reported happening to them that

88
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:53,680
can seem inexplicable or
serendipitous or just kind of

89
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,520
mysterious.
Mysterious, I guess really.

90
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:58,600
Like I can just use the same
word, I guess, right.

91
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:03,640
So I only have a couple of
sources because the majority of

92
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:07,560
this is anecdotal, right?
This isn't a hard facts episode

93
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:10,160
of my sources are a Guardian
article called Kindness of

94
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:15,480
strangers, people.com, Fox 13,
Tampa Bay, the root Prison

95
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:19,840
Fellowship, and then Reddit.
There were I got some anecdotes

96
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:23,520
from some subreddits about this
kind of thing.

97
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,840
So so I wanted to start with a
story that happened to my to my

98
00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:30,320
to me, not to myself.
I don't want bugging people.

99
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,400
I don't know how that works
grammatically, actually.

100
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,600
Anyway, I want to start with a
story that happened to me.

101
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:41,200
It was early, it was the late
90s, about 1996 to 97 that time

102
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:45,120
frame and I was single mom with
a baby, you know, under a year

103
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,360
old, working, living paycheck to
paycheck.

104
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,040
I needed groceries, I needed
baby necessities, you know,

105
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,640
diapers, formula, things like
that.

106
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:57,800
And I knew how much it was
estimate going to cost me

107
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,360
because I bought, you know, I
bought these things all the time

108
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:06,120
I had just for the sake of like
giving you numbers, I counted

109
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,960
the cash in my wallet and I had
around $70.00.

110
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,680
I knew the groceries were going
to be around $100, right?

111
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:16,760
So in my desperation, I guess
for lack of a better way of

112
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:20,280
putting it, I decided I was
going to float a check, right.

113
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:23,640
And so for those of you that are
younger and don't have a lot of

114
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,720
experience in the 90s with
checks, there used to be, oh,

115
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,600
you still can, but not many
people use it.

116
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,280
But you can write a check for
money that's in your bank

117
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:37,720
account, and that check becomes
a promise of the money in your

118
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,200
bank account to somebody.
So somebody then can cash that

119
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,840
check and they, the money comes
out of your bank account and

120
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:47,000
goes to them in cash, right?
Hopefully that's a good enough

121
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,800
explanation.
But in the 90s you could also in

122
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,800
the 90s if somebody cashed a
check, there was not an instant

123
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:56,040
transfer.
We didn't have like like nothing

124
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:59,360
like Venmo, nothing like PayPal.
There were no instant transfers.

125
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:03,760
It would take anywhere from 3:00
to probably 10 days for that

126
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,240
check to clear when that money
would actually be taken out of

127
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,440
your account.
So the person cashing the check

128
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:13,440
could get the cash immediately,
but then your check, sorry, your

129
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,480
money in your account may not be
taken out to cover that debt

130
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:20,040
essentially for three to 10
days.

131
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,760
So I was, I recall correctly,
it's been years obviously, but

132
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,040
if I recall correctly, I was
getting paid in three days so I

133
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,320
felt like it was safe.
It's also illegal, by the way,

134
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,760
to fold a.
Check, I was going to mention

135
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:31,360
that this is an illegal.
Action.

136
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,680
I think in those days it did
happen from time to time for

137
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,040
people and you just really hoped
it would take as long as you.

138
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,760
Think it was exactly.
Yeah, exactly.

139
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,680
Most people who did it, I did it
once, but I was so hysterical I

140
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,360
couldn't do it again.
When it's written, you just hope

141
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:48,440
that your bank's going to be a
little slow or if it's on a

142
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,360
Friday and you have a whole
weekend and hopefully the

143
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:54,200
paycheck will hear anyway.
It is illegal, so please never

144
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,560
do this, but it's.
It's so stressful because it's

145
00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:01,160
so stressful and you don't know
the bank could suddenly for

146
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,600
whatever reasons, it could go
quickly and and then you know,

147
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,920
you're screwed.
So I just like I decided I was

148
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,360
going to do it and I was going
to hope and you know, pray,

149
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,080
whatever.
So I went to the grocery store.

150
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,600
I did my shopping cashier
finished ringing up my

151
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,920
groceries.
The total was around $96, which

152
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,560
is about what I had anticipated,
right?

153
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,880
So I grabbed the cash from my
wallet and started counting it

154
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,760
out to her to the cashier to get
to the to the 70 ish dollars

155
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,480
that I had.
And then I'd already asked her

156
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,159
if I could write a check for the
difference and she'd said yes

157
00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:34,200
because that part's legal.
Like if you, if you have money

158
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,080
in your account, you can cover
it with a check.

159
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,280
That's, that's not a big deal.
And so as I'm counting it out, I

160
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:44,680
suddenly am going past 70, past
80, past 90.

161
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:51,680
And I have and I have $96.
Oh my goodness, Oh my.

162
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:55,320
Goodness, my wallet never left
my sight from the time I counted

163
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,160
it.
Like I could understand if it

164
00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:01,560
was like $20 more, $10 more, but
it was $26 more.

165
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:06,160
I do not believe I would miss
A20A5 and A1 counting right.

166
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:10,400
To this day, I have no idea how
that money got into my wallet

167
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:13,520
because I counted it so many
times before I went to the

168
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,280
grocery store because I was
like, you know, just hoping

169
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,160
bills were stuck together or
something.

170
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:22,000
It just from the time I counted
it the last time to the time I

171
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,680
was counting it for the cashier,
I had 26 more dollars.

172
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,000
Wow.
Wow, That's awesome.

173
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,240
Isn't that crazy?
I was, yeah.

174
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:33,320
I was watching a one of those
heart string puller things on

175
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,240
Facebook, the reels for people
who do stuff for other people

176
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:40,000
and, and they go up and they pay
for their groceries or something

177
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,640
like that.
All of a sudden for no reason.

178
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,040
I of course was bawling because
you know, those things happen.

179
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,360
And I've been in a similar
situation, although I don't

180
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,040
think I've ever had magical
money appearing.

181
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,840
I really like that idea.
Yeah, You know, and there was a

182
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,840
time I said I was religious.
I thought, you know, it probably

183
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:58,880
had something to do with God,
but I'm not religious now.

184
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,960
And so that actually makes it
even harder for me to explain,

185
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,840
honestly.
But I guess the closest thing I

186
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:09,520
can think it might be is that
the universe just rearranged the

187
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,120
molecules.
That's the only thing.

188
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,200
That's the only thing I can
think of, you know, that that

189
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:17,360
they took matter from somewhere
else and turned it into dollar

190
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:18,080
bills.
I don't know.

191
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,800
Yeah, and that's pretty wild.
And, and I hear stories like

192
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,960
that sometimes where it just
happens to be exactly right or

193
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:29,040
somebody finds a, a dollar
amount on the ground and that's

194
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:33,040
exactly what they needed to, to
meet their requirements.

195
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,600
Yeah, that's cool.
Or or stories of where like

196
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,800
somebody finds some sort of
story, right?

197
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,400
Somebody finds money on the
ground to meet the requirements

198
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,960
they need out of good
conscience.

199
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,320
They turn it in wherever one
turns it in, and then they get

200
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:51,400
it back.
Or the person who lost the money

201
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,200
rewards them greater.
I mean, these, like I said,

202
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:59,400
they're all anecdotal, but so I
really like a line I saw that

203
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:03,400
just summed this up for me.
Sometimes life is cruelly

204
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:08,520
precise and sometimes life is
mercifully precise, right?

205
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,840
I like that all.
But yeah, I like that a lot.

206
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,320
What strikes me now, looking
back, is how, like I said,

207
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,640
precise.
These moments are not wildly

208
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:21,160
miraculous, not dramatic, just
exact, exact enough and right on

209
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,160
time.
And when you start listening or

210
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,360
looking for them, you realize
how many people carry stories

211
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,760
like this quietly, stories that
don't make headlines, stories

212
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,160
that happen under fluorescent
lights with a line of strangers

213
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,840
behind you and a cashier who may
never know how close you were to

214
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,120
breaking.
So today I want to tell, like I

215
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,040
said, some stories, some of
these stories.

216
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:41,240
And it's not because money sells
everything.

217
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,920
It doesn't.
I want to make that very clear,

218
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:47,160
but because sometimes it keeps
someone standing long enough to

219
00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:50,640
breathe again.
Oh, that makes me tear up.

220
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,640
So there's a story that
circulated a few years ago from

221
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,680
a woman shopping at a discount
grocery store.

222
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,560
She wasn't broke.
She had money in her account,

223
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:02,400
but the banking app wouldn't
load.

224
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,920
If you've ever had that happen,
you know how fast panic shows up

225
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:11,120
and the, and the feeling that,
you know, everybody's getting

226
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,920
madder and madder at me with
every second.

227
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,600
And, you know, I always like to,
whenever I see somebody getting

228
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,960
flustered in a, in any sort of
line or, you know, thing like

229
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,840
that, I always want to let them
know, Hey, I'm in no hurry.

230
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:27,400
I try to live my life as much as
possible in no hurry so that I

231
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,440
can say that to people.
Because I know, I know how

232
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:33,240
stressful it is to feel like
you're holding up everybody in

233
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:37,120
line and, and to feel and to
believe that they're getting

234
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,840
madder and madder at you.
And what sucks about that is

235
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,880
that that just makes you more
flustered and probably making

236
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,880
more and more errors and
mistakes, right?

237
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,800
Right.
And also it's embarrassing, I

238
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,000
mean, cause anytime anything
gets held up at the front, the

239
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,280
cashier is, is saying your card
was declined or something like

240
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,920
that.
It's like, oh, shoot, I've

241
00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,200
covered somebody when, when
their card was declined because

242
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,800
it just, it's just such a, such
a heartbreaking moment.

243
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,640
It's happened to me before.
And so I I try to pay it forward

244
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,120
whenever I can.
I do too.

245
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,120
So this woman had two small kids
with her.

246
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,920
They were tired and they were
hungry.

247
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:13,960
And of course, the line is
growing.

248
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,000
And that, I mean, that also adds
to it when you have kids that

249
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,840
are just over it, right?
Like, it's so that's another,

250
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,560
that's another thing that adds
on that makes it easy to get

251
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,160
more flustered and make more
mistakes.

252
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:30,400
And it's just a horrible cycle.
So she tried using her banking

253
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,920
app again.
Nothing would not go through.

254
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,680
She explained.
She apologized.

255
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:38,560
She felt that familiar heat of
shame, even though she'd done

256
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,120
nothing wrong.
And then the woman behind her

257
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,080
quietly stepped forward and paid
for the groceries.

258
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,480
No lecture, no performance, just
paid.

259
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,600
When the mother tried to refuse,
the woman said something simple.

260
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,040
That someday, when she could,
she should pass it along.

261
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:55,280
So the pay it forward, right?
And later, that mother did.

262
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:58,480
Not with money at first, but by
giving away baby items to

263
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,160
someone else who needed them.
And that's how these things

264
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,720
ripple.
And I think that I really like

265
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:07,040
this story because it wasn't
like the next day the woman got

266
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,800
in line and then paid some of
these groceries.

267
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:13,040
She saw a need that she was able
to fill and she filled it.

268
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,360
And for any of us who've had
babies, we know, I mean, my

269
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,080
story was about baby items even,
right?

270
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,640
We know how expensive baby items
can be and how difficult to to

271
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:25,280
obtain they can be and cost
prohibitive they can be.

272
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:29,600
And so things like car seats
expire, but other than car seats

273
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,560
and formula, you can pass almost
anything down for generations

274
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:36,080
and generations and generations.
And I think that that that's not

275
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,400
only good for us as people, but
it's good for the planet, you

276
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,960
know, absolutely.
So, and then I think about how

277
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,280
thin and the line is between
having enough and not being able

278
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,560
to access it.
You know, when a lot of times

279
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,760
when we think about that
concept, we think about

280
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:54,400
millionaires, rich people who
can't liquidate their assets.

281
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,640
So they're rich, but they're
cash poor.

282
00:14:56,640 --> 00:15:01,360
But the reality is, is that
first of all, one thing.

283
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:05,160
So when we talk about a rich
person who's cash poor, you know

284
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:08,520
who's rich because, but it's,
it's illiquid and they're so

285
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:09,560
they're rich, but they're cash
poor.

286
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,720
We don't give them a moral
judgement.

287
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,480
We don't, we don't say they have
a character flaw.

288
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,560
It's just a fact of matter.
But then when we have the woman

289
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,840
at the grocery store who's
saying, I promise I have this

290
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,320
money account, I've said that
before.

291
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:28,000
I promise I have this money in
my account, suddenly there's a

292
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,240
moral judgement that it's as if
there's a a glitch.

293
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:35,840
And sorry, excuse me, it's as if
that glitch is a character flaw

294
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:39,760
for them.
And it's like, if I know

295
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,920
anything, my job is supporting
software, right?

296
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:48,480
Enhancements, new features and
bugs and bugs in software,

297
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:54,000
glitches in software never cease
to astonish me because it feels

298
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:59,280
like to my logical brain that
that shouldn't be possible to

299
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,600
happen, right?
You put something in the

300
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:06,200
computer, does it?
The way you program it get the

301
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:10,160
output you programmed for right?
So why is the computer in the

302
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:14,520
program can do it 1000 times the
way you programmed it to and

303
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:17,840
then the thousand and first time
is just like Nah?

304
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,920
Right, not interested I.
Understand that.

305
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:25,720
And so we, you know this, my
call to action at this moment is

306
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:29,040
like, let's be patient.
Let's remember especially,

307
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:35,960
especially in our current era of
technology overload, that it's

308
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:39,800
not always the person's fault.
It's not always the person's

309
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:44,040
actions that are causing it so.
Yeah, true.

310
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:47,440
I I was just going to say I had
an experience when I was at a

311
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,560
grocery store and I had money.
I had money in my account.

312
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:55,200
Everything was good and like you
were just like you were just

313
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:58,080
talking about when I rent.
It was a place that only took

314
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,760
debit cards at the time and I
think the store still only takes

315
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,640
debit cards or cash.
I had my debit card and

316
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,680
absolutely had the money I have
been paid.

317
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,079
I had a good job, everything
ready.

318
00:17:07,079 --> 00:17:09,200
I had a whole bunch of stuff is
around Christmas time.

319
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,640
I was getting gifts for people
and all of the things and it

320
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,280
didn't work.
The lady said your card and

321
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,280
declined.
And it always seems like in

322
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,079
those moments it sounds like
they're yelling it from the

323
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:21,680
rooftops.
And I said no, I have the money.

324
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:25,000
I really have the money.
And she said I'm sorry, it's not

325
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,680
going through.
So I had to go to customer

326
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,560
service.
I walked over with my big old

327
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,520
cart of stuff and went to
customer service and we tried to

328
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,640
call the bank and the bank's
number was down and there was

329
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,800
clearly a problem at the bank
and I had to walk out.

330
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,760
I had to leave the groceries.
I had to walk away.

331
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,480
I was devastated.
Also, like I said, especially

332
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,480
because I had the money.
It was a bank problem, but it

333
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:50,480
was mortifying because I look
like a loser to have to go to

334
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,360
customer service and haul it all
over there.

335
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:55,120
And I said, I'll put it back.
And they said, unfortunately now

336
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:58,080
this has been out too long.
I, we can't return it to the, to

337
00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:59,720
the shelves, the stuff that was
partial.

338
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,240
And then I felt worse because
really I didn't, I wasn't trying

339
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,960
to pull a fast one or anything
like that.

340
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,960
And I certainly would have taken
stuff if they had if I had had

341
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,680
the money with me.
I said I can go and try and get

342
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,760
cash, but the store was closed.
All of the things were poor

343
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,960
alignment in my circumstance,
but I had to leave.

344
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,040
And then I didn't get the stuff
I needed, of course.

345
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,360
And then I had to go stuff.
But I didn't go back to that

346
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,480
grocery store for a while
because I was mortified.

347
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,880
And and it really, truly been a
bank problem.

348
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:31,320
They had sent an an e-mail out
saying they had had some glitch

349
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,320
and they apologized.
I'm like, yeah, well, you

350
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,520
weren't standing in the line.
I but I was so upset.

351
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,320
And yeah, anyway, go ahead with
your.

352
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,520
Another story comes from Walmart
in Texas.

353
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,960
A woman reaches the register and
realizes she doesn't have

354
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,200
enough.
Her total is over $100.

355
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,520
She's upset.
She's trying to decide what to

356
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,680
remove.
She's already shrinking in on

357
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,160
herself.
That makes me like also tear up

358
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,160
because people don't you.
Shouldn't you have to feel that

359
00:18:56,160 --> 00:19:00,280
way?
And the cash a 19 year old kid

360
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:03,920
does, someone expects he pays
for it out of his own pocket.

361
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,120
Greater when and why?
He says he just felt like the

362
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:10,040
right thing to do.
Not heroic, not calculated, just

363
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,840
human.
Just human.

364
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:18,600
So I'm a robot, just human.
That's awesome.

365
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,040
What?
Gets me about this story is not

366
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,800
just the generosity, it's the
power imbalance.

367
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,120
He was the one in control of the
moment.

368
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,360
He could have hurried her.
He could have made it worse.

369
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,960
Instead, he made it about
kindness.

370
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,680
That's awesome.
Just for contrast, I'm going to

371
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:39,520
share a story of a time when
help was refused.

372
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,520
There's another story shared
years later by a witness about a

373
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,000
woman using assistance benefits
who came up short at the

374
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,720
register.
I'm going to just pause for a

375
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,640
moment to go on a little bit of
a rant about assistant benefits.

376
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,520
I have been on WIC and I have
been on food stamps for many,

377
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,160
many years.
I'm no longer on them.

378
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,960
I don't need them, thank
goodness, but I have been a

379
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,840
recipient of food assistance.
And let me tell you, I don't

380
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,920
know because I haven't been on
it for so long.

381
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,760
I don't know what people are
experiencing today, but there

382
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:15,240
was open hostility for WIC
recipients when they were in a

383
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:20,840
grocery line, open hostility for
food stamp beneficiaries when

384
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,800
they were in in a grocery line.
And it was the most

385
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:30,760
embarrassing, heartbreaking
thing because I had to feed my

386
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:35,200
children.
Well, if I remember well, yeah,

387
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,200
most people do, or many people
do.

388
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,360
And if I remember with the WIC
program, it used to be that

389
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:44,040
there were papers and you had to
fill, you had to get 4 ounces of

390
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:47,720
this and 12 ounces of that.
If it was wrong in any way, then

391
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,600
it got denied.
The wrong brand, if it was the

392
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,000
wrong sign, you have to go take
it back and get another one.

393
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,960
So that's what would happen is
it wasn't, you know, it was a

394
00:20:54,960 --> 00:21:01,040
confusing, convoluted process
with papers that if you if you

395
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,320
didn't understand it and you
were just guessing, you might

396
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,680
get it wrong.
And it's not like also it's not

397
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,000
like you could walk up to a
store employee and be like, can

398
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,200
you please help me shop for my
WIC vouchers?

399
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,760
Because they're going to say no,
Nobody ever said yes to me.

400
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,560
Or they'd walk me over to one,
walk me over to the serial

401
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,840
section and show me the sticker
that says WIC approved and then

402
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,680
walk away like OK, thanks I
guess.

403
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,200
Right, yeah, and I see the
little signs on things.

404
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,160
I see the little signs on things
sometimes, but I think

405
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,080
everything's in a card format
now, but I don't have.

406
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:33,960
Oh, I'm.
Sure it is.

407
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,680
It's it's not 1990.
Because right?

408
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,680
2001.
Because I remember I had a

409
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:43,120
friend who was on it, they lost
their papers and they couldn't

410
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,800
get the food.
They just, they wouldn't reissue

411
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,000
them.
They wouldn't do anything.

412
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,520
And there's record, there was
record on it too, whether it'd

413
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,840
been spent or not.
But they said no, you might want

414
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,920
to use it later or you'd do it
wrong or whatever.

415
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,240
So she just didn't get
groceries?

416
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,560
I was three days out from AC
section and had to go get my own

417
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,800
WIC because it had to be signed
and counter signed by the same

418
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,400
person.
So you get your when you would

419
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,320
get your vouchers, you would
sign them there in front of the

420
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,680
WIC representative, and then you
would sign them at the register

421
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,040
and the signatures had to match.
My mom was there.

422
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:15,760
She could have gone and got
those groceries for me.

423
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,400
Oops.
Except Nope, because she can't

424
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,360
sign my name like I do.
And like, it was awful.

425
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,560
I mean, no shade to Wick, by the
way, I love Wick.

426
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,600
Thank you so much.
Wick fed my children for many,

427
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,520
many years.
I'm just saying it's, I'm saying

428
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,520
the government kind of sucks.
Really.

429
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:33,600
Bureaucracy sucks.
That's.

430
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:38,760
Another whole show.
So this woman came up short and

431
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:42,840
she was using food assistance.
Another shopper offered to cover

432
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:46,000
the difference and the cashier
refused to allow it.

433
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:50,360
What worse, the cashier did not
refuse to allow it because it

434
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:53,160
was against store policy.
They did it because they were

435
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:57,040
judging them, judging her.
The situation escalated.

436
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,720
The woman was embarrassed
publicly.

437
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:02,080
Whether every detail is
remembered perfectly also

438
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,080
doesn't matter because the core
truth does.

439
00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:07,400
Sometimes the difference between
dignity and humiliation is one

440
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,280
person's choice in a small
moment.

441
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:16,400
And I see that so much in the
world of just so many times

442
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,440
people can choose.
I mean, there's, there's lots of

443
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,560
choices we can make, right?
And if we want to just really,

444
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,000
really, really break it down,
you can choose kindness, you can

445
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,240
choose neutral, or you can
choose unkindness.

446
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:33,080
And it's sad to me how many
people choose unkindness rather

447
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,720
than just neutral.
Like walk away dude, just walk

448
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,720
away.
And what does he care who's

449
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,440
paying, I mean.
Right.

450
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,160
Exactly what does he care?
Why?

451
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,360
Why does that matter to you?
And I would imagine, obviously I

452
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:47,280
wasn't there, but I would
imagine that it was a power trip

453
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,040
of some kind.
It goes back to that.

454
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,200
It actually goes back to that
power dynamic that we were

455
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,560
talking about with the 19 year
old cashier that paid the bill.

456
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,680
He used his quote UN quote
powers for even.

457
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:00,960
For.
Unkindness.

458
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:06,440
Well, I always wonder what when
a person acts in an unkind way,

459
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,000
I think it's usually based on
some sort of an experience.

460
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,000
What brought them there?
Experience or upbringing, I

461
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:18,080
think, you know, some people are
just brought up to be racist,

462
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:23,120
for example, or classist or
sexist or all the other ists.

463
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,240
And that's a hard, that's a hard
habit to break.

464
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,760
That's true.
And especially like you say, if

465
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,760
they've been brought up and they
just don't, don't have other

466
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,280
perspectives perhaps in the
scenario, because I think you

467
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,640
and I both had the perspective
of being on the short end of the

468
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,600
stick.
So we might look for

469
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,200
opportunities to assist someone
where someone who had never had

470
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,400
any real trial.
It hadn't.

471
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,000
And I the the reals I was
telling you about that.

472
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,680
I was watching last night.
One of them, there's this man

473
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,360
who goes around, I can't recall
his name, but he pays for

474
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:56,920
people's bill or his their
groceries.

475
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,600
But in this case, he walked up
and he said to the man at the

476
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,680
checkout, he was self checkout.
So this man was just checking

477
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,440
his own stuff out.
He said, Hey, I'm a dollar short

478
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,360
to buy this food.
I haven't had anything to eat

479
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:10,480
all day.
Would you would you buy it for

480
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,080
me?
Would you lend me the money?

481
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:16,120
And the guy's like, no, why, Why
would I do that?

482
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:19,360
And then the, the rich guy said,
well, have you never been

483
00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:21,520
hungry?
And asked him a few questions.

484
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,520
And finally the guy said, you
know what, let me get it for

485
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,480
you.
And the rich guy didn't end up

486
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,240
paying for the other guys
groceries, but he said, boy,

487
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:29,600
that was hard.
We're getting you there.

488
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,600
And he said you had a little,
you had a little mustard seed of

489
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,320
maybe, but mostly we had to
build that seat up.

490
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,280
And now maybe you can remember
to make it come faster next time

491
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:42,440
or something along that line.
But he gave him 5 or 6

492
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,480
opportunities to say yes and
give him reasons to say say yes,

493
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:49,000
but he had to fight hard for it.
And then the guy was a little

494
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,680
bit, he wasn't, I don't think he
was upset.

495
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:52,880
He didn't look like he was
upset.

496
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,040
But I think he realized that he
had been a little bit of a jerk,

497
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,120
especially because the guy was
only asking for a couple bucks.

498
00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:02,080
It's not like it was a million.
But you know, on a daily basis,

499
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,520
depending on where a person
lives, they can be approached by

500
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,360
hundreds of people if they're in
the cities and give me your

501
00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:08,960
money, give me your money.
Give me your money.

502
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,920
And this guy even said I could
pack your groceries into the bag

503
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:14,840
for you to pay for it to earn
it.

504
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,200
Right, right, right.
And I think that's when he

505
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,000
started to soften a little that
the guy wasn't just saying I'm

506
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,280
here for a handout.
But for a free handout, yeah.

507
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,720
Which, by the way, I'm not.
I don't necessarily think

508
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,960
handouts are so bad.
But anyway, I digress.

509
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,200
Yeah, great.
OK, go ahead.

510
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:31,280
What's up?
What else do you have?

511
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,480
OK, so one of the most, one of
the most fun stories I found was

512
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:37,160
about somebody who went to a
store intending to help another

513
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,040
person.
She knew she had a specific

514
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,000
amount to give.
She didn't have the person in

515
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,200
mind beginning.
It wasn't like she's like, I'm

516
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,200
going to go to the store and
help Mary Smith.

517
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,440
She said, I'm going to go to the
store, I'm going to observe and

518
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,880
then I'm going to help somebody.
So she did that.

519
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,680
She observed, she found somebody
that she felt like was the right

520
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,880
one to help.
And when the groceries were

521
00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:59,920
total, it came out to exactly
what she had.

522
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,760
No more.
So yeah.

523
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:07,400
So that detail, that exactness
is what people remember because

524
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,880
it mirrors our own stories.
We don't need excess miracles or

525
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,680
excess kindness.
We need just enough.

526
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,480
Just enough.
And then this is from a Reddit

527
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,320
thread.
A woman described being a broke

528
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,960
single mother herself when she
saw someone else at the register

529
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,960
start removing items.
She didn't have much, but she

530
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,520
had enough to cover the
difference.

531
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,600
She offered later.
She said what stayed with her

532
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,000
wasn't pride, it was
recognition.

533
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,600
That could have been me and that
has been me.

534
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:39,320
And again, that's why if I see a
scenario like that where I can

535
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:43,120
cover something because I have
been there and I have now.

536
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,280
I have disposable income now,
right?

537
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:50,200
Like I can help people and so I,
I make it a point again, but I

538
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:53,520
mean, this is, this is more
about money, but I, I make it a

539
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,520
point to pay it forward.
And I'm paying, you know, I'm

540
00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:00,240
paying a debt that I, that I
acquired in the, in the late 90s

541
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,080
and 2000s.
And that's fine with me.

542
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:07,040
And I don't see it as a debt I
shouldn't like I want to make

543
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,920
sure that I don't, I don't want
anybody to feel like taking

544
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,400
assistance or kindness or
whatever is a debt.

545
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,960
But I'm happy to pay it forward
and I'm happy to pay.

546
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,800
I'm happy that I can pay it
forward, even if it has been 20

547
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,360
years or, you know, had been 20
years before I could.

548
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:25,440
I just, I, you know, it really
struck me that this has been me,

549
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,120
that statement of this has been
me.

550
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:30,600
I have been this person and I
know what it feels like and.

551
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:33,360
I.
Know how I don't want them to

552
00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:36,880
feel?
And then sometimes, very rarely,

553
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,000
these moments open doors no one
expects.

554
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,200
One story describes a woman
whose card kept declining.

555
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,920
Someone paid for her groceries.
They talked.

556
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,640
That conversation led to a job
opportunity, which led to

557
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:52,560
training, which led to nursing
school, which led to a nurse.

558
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:57,040
One moment of help didn't fix
everything, but it changed the

559
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,800
direction.
And I think that that's another

560
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:04,040
my dad, you know, my dad, he
loves to he loves to talk to

561
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:05,840
everybody and loves to get to
know people.

562
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,680
And if he, he takes Donuts to
the post office, for example,

563
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:13,440
and if he knows that, you know,
if you're a cashier at the local

564
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,480
grocery store and he knows that
your favorite candy bar is a

565
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,640
Snickers, he's going to buy a
candy bar.

566
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,680
Sorry, he's going to buy a
Snickers when he's checking out

567
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,400
at your register and he's going
to leave it with you.

568
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:24,360
Right?
That sort of thing.

569
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:28,520
And I think that my dad's a
really good example of a good

570
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,240
ripple effect because he has,
he's done a lot of really dorky,

571
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,040
dumb things, but he's done a lot
of really, much, many more

572
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:40,760
really good things.
And, and, and you can, you know,

573
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:46,000
you can, you can if you were to
stop and, and pay attention and

574
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,920
actually look for it, you can
see that his ripple truly covers

575
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:53,440
the globe just from from little
things like taking his nieces

576
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:59,840
and nephews skiing to set, you
know, sending school supplies to

577
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:06,400
Kenya to holding a charity
fundraiser ball, dancing ball.

578
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:07,920
That's not what it's called
Masquerade ball.

579
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:09,480
Masquerade ball.
I'm like what?

580
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,600
All these.
Things and and then, you know,

581
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,520
never is he doing this like,
hello.

582
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:19,000
I would like everybody to notice
that I, Ron Hatfield am doing.

583
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:20,440
I just named him.
I guess that's probably OK.

584
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,280
He's old.
I'm doing all these things.

585
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,200
See me praise me.
It's all under the radar.

586
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:30,200
It's all like just you know, now
it's not taking his nieces and

587
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:34,080
nephews skiing and fishing.
It's taking his grandkids and

588
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:38,000
you know, he just quietly will
say, hey, Chris, you want to go

589
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,960
fishing and they go.
And you know, my mom may put it

590
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,400
in her Granny Graham that she
sends out.

591
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:46,440
You know, Sonny told me about
the Granny Graham.

592
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:51,000
Sorry if you hear this.
She said that only the only the

593
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,120
grandkids read it.
Their kids don't read it.

594
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,160
I read it.
I read it too.

595
00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:01,400
She was wrong about me, but you
know I will admit that I read it

596
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:06,040
to see what silliness my mom has
shared.

597
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,800
Yeah, it's just.
Skip over all the churchy stuff.

598
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:12,560
I'm all church, church, church,
church, church.

599
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,320
OK, here we go.
What's going on with Harmony?

600
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,880
Yep, Yeah, but you're right.
I mean, I think that your dad,

601
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:26,320
especially when your mom too by
by proxy, if you will, supports,

602
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,680
supports those things and they
always have as long as I've

603
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,480
known them.
And the quiet, to me, the most

604
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,240
important, I'll just call them
acts of service because that's

605
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,760
what they they are the most
important acts of service of the

606
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,320
cry.
It acts of service in my view,

607
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:42,320
because they don't, they don't
come with strings attached

608
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:45,240
because it can be so hard to
know that someone's giving you

609
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,000
something with a string
attached.

610
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,200
And then if there's something
that has to be done to pay it

611
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:53,320
back.
And that, that feels even harder

612
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,600
sometimes, at least for me,
because then I know that I'll

613
00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,240
always owe them somehow, and
that is hard for me.

614
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:01,840
Right, that is hard.
I agree and.

615
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,240
Maybe it's a pride thing, but it
is a hard thing.

616
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,040
Yeah.
Well, and there are, there have

617
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,280
definitely been sometimes when
opportunities or acts of service

618
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,520
have been offered to me and
there were strings attached and

619
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:20,760
they either blew up in my face
or I chose not to receive that,

620
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,840
you know.
Yeah, just because it it the

621
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,280
cost was too high.
Yeah, exactly.

622
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:29,000
I wanted to ask you if you have
any stories of your own that are

623
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:35,360
like this, Like specific stories
where something happened that

624
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,640
improved your life and you
couldn't explain it.

625
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:44,400
Specific thing, you know,
actually one of the things that

626
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:48,760
happened that improved my life
happened when I first became a

627
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:54,760
nurse and in an RN in 1992 and I
was a single parent.

628
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,720
As you know, I had just
graduated.

629
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,720
You didn't know me then yet, of
course, but I, I just graduated

630
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:06,200
and I had applied for this job
and it was going to be perfect

631
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,640
because my kids were little.
I could work from home, go out

632
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:14,000
to patient appointments and then
come back and I could do the

633
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,760
report writing whenever I could.
So it the hours are horrendous

634
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:21,760
because I got up early, stayed
up late and but I didn't have to

635
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:25,680
do child care, but a couple of
hours a day and it was going to

636
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,800
be perfect.
And then my nursing board

637
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:32,960
results back in the dark ages
when we wrote them and we had to

638
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,000
wait two weeks to get the
results.

639
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:36,920
It wasn't immediate like it is
now.

640
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,160
And my results had gotten
delayed.

641
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:42,920
It took six weeks.
The papers had gotten lost

642
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:46,640
somehow and I knew I had passed.
I felt really, really confident

643
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,600
that I had passed.
I wasn't worried about not

644
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,720
passing, but I had to prove it
to get this job.

645
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,400
And my employer said I can give
you 2 weeks and then I have to

646
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:59,880
fill the position.
And I called her and I said I

647
00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:02,560
don't have it yet.
And I called the board office

648
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:04,960
because that was not, I couldn't
even look on the computer yet.

649
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:09,320
It was too early history.
And they said they couldn't find

650
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,880
the results, that they'd be
pending, they'd come anytime.

651
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,560
Six weeks.
It took my manager at the five

652
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,600
week mark called me and said I'm
really sorry.

653
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,239
I can't hold this job anymore.
We're, we're in a lurch.

654
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,440
And I said, I understand.
I mean, I, I can't change

655
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,960
anything.
And the money from the job was

656
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,159
going to be really good.
I have no idea what it was at

657
00:34:29,159 --> 00:34:31,840
the time, but it was a good
paycheck that especially since I

658
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,199
could work from home and nursing
jobs back then were almost never

659
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,320
a home job.
And it was when case management

660
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:40,480
was brand new and we didn't
really know what we're doing.

661
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:44,080
But we figured it out.
And I said, OK, I understand.

662
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,719
And I hung up the phone and I
started to bawl so hard.

663
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,320
I cried and cried and cried.
Didn't know what I was going to

664
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:50,600
do.
I didn't have a backup job

665
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:54,120
because I thought I'd get this
one and I had no money and all

666
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,600
of the things.
And then about 3 minutes later,

667
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,320
my phone rang, maybe not even
that long.

668
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,760
My phone rang again and said,
OK, here's what I want you to

669
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:01,960
do.
It was the manager.

670
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,160
She said, I want you to go make
sure your kids are safe because

671
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:09,840
they were little Jules was like,
I don't know, maybe a year or

672
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,080
less.
And so Josh would have been

673
00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:15,600
close to four, I guess, and 3-4,
whatever it was.

674
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:16,240
Yeah.
And.

675
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:18,240
And she said, I want you to make
sure your kids are safe.

676
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,640
And I want you to get in the
shower and I want you to cry as

677
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,520
long as if you need to, but
don't let your kids see you

678
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,360
crying right now.
Because she didn't want my kids

679
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,840
to be upset.
She said, but I'm going to give

680
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,640
you some more time.
And she gave me another another

681
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,280
week and my board results came.
I passed everything was great.

682
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,640
And I promised her, I said, you
hire me, I will be the best

683
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:38,880
nurse you've got.
Boy did I work for the pets.

684
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:43,120
And I ended up in the first year
being it was based on chart

685
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,760
billing and stuff like that.
And I was the highest revenue

686
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:49,000
generator in all of California
because I was working really

687
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,440
hard.
And she said that she knew from

688
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,760
the moment that she hired me
that I was going to be worth it.

689
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,760
And she said I just kept
feeling, even though my brain

690
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,640
said don't wait because I don't
have time, because then she

691
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:02,800
would have had to hire someone
else.

692
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,720
It was a whole process.
It would have been at least

693
00:36:04,720 --> 00:36:07,240
another couple weeks, she said.
But I just, my heart kept

694
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:08,960
saying, I've got to wait.
I've got to wait.

695
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:12,000
And she did and it was worth it
for both of us.

696
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,320
But Oh my gosh, it was so
stressful and she didn't have to

697
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:18,520
do it, but just something in her
said it was going to work out

698
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,600
and, and it did.
And it changed, probably changed

699
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:26,040
what I ended up doing for
nursing for most of my career at

700
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:27,800
that moment.
And I still did other stuff.

701
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,760
But at that time, that was my
main job.

702
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:34,120
And it it impacted me so much
because I knew that she could

703
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,120
have easily just said, no,
sorry, too bad.

704
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,000
But she cared enough that she
called back, told me how to take

705
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,200
care of myself and and ended up
giving me the job.

706
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,280
So it was it was perfect.
Yeah, it was.

707
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:49,080
That's awesome.
I have another experience where

708
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:55,360
Liberty and I were in Germany
and we were 12 and 15 years old,

709
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:59,400
navigating Germany on our own.
Makes sense to me back in the

710
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:03,680
day and that was normal.
Hello Gen.

711
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:05,400
X.
Oh my God.

712
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,200
And we, we.
Should be fine.

713
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:08,640
Everything's good.
We.

714
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:12,600
Were in the yes, we were in the
railroad in at the Ubon.

715
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,320
Station maybe?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

716
00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:17,600
At the Ubon, I was trying to
remember the name of it in

717
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,680
German.
So we went to Ubon and we

718
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:24,120
actually needed to go to the
long distance railroad.

719
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:28,400
And so the Ubon was it was in
one spot and then you would go

720
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,560
down a little further, like
underground a little further and

721
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,920
get on to the like long distance
cross country, intercontinental,

722
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,160
whatever you want to call it,
not intercontinental, but cross

723
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:41,720
country and well, intercountry.
Like you could go from Germany

724
00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:44,640
to Belgium for example.
But anyway, in this case we were

725
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,280
staying in Germany, but we were
going far enough that it was

726
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,800
like a four hour train ride or
something like that.

727
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:53,360
Yeah, I can't.
I'm just trying to imagine you

728
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,520
your age is going, oh, this is
fine.

729
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:57,360
And barely speaking the
language.

730
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,760
Oh my gosh, I'm just having hard
conversations over that.

731
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:05,440
So we're on the, we're on the,
gosh, why can't I remember any

732
00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:11,400
train station terms?
We're on the platform and

733
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:16,440
clearly looking very confused
and my and all of a sudden this

734
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:20,200
man walks up to us and he's like
says something in German.

735
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,600
And we're like every time we all
speak English.

736
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,680
And he was like, where are you
trying to get to?

737
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,840
And we told him I think we were
trying to get to Frankfurt from

738
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,000
Hamburg.
And if my timing and stuff is

739
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,880
wrong, it was a really long time
ago.

740
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:38,600
OK, just and he was like, you're
on the wrong platform and the

741
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,600
other, the platform you need to
get to is 6 over.

742
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,600
But The thing is, is you
couldn't just go like 6 over.

743
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:47,320
You had to go all the way back
up into the terminal that

744
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:51,920
supported both the trains and
the ubon run the six things, six

745
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:56,120
lanes and then back down into
the onto the platform that you

746
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:59,240
needed to be.
And so we barely made it to our

747
00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:02,080
train.
And the fun thing about that

748
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,560
fun, I don't know.
But the fun thing about that is

749
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:09,880
that it that same exact moment,
my mother had woken up in the US

750
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,160
and had had this feeling of like
something's wrong with the

751
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:16,400
girls.
And so she just said a quick

752
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,520
prayer like, you know, I know
something's wrong with the

753
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:20,360
girls.
I don't know what it is.

754
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,920
Please help them in this moment.
And that's then this guy walks

755
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,120
up to us.
Now I know that, you know, girls

756
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,840
looking confused can be
explained away by you.

757
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:31,880
Girls were looking confused the
DOI, but I like to think that

758
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:35,360
there was a connection because
it because it was at the same

759
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:38,720
time.
And and I think that I just I

760
00:39:38,720 --> 00:39:40,800
think that that's how the
universe works, right.

761
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:45,200
I think that there's just, I've
heard a lot of times statement,

762
00:39:45,240 --> 00:39:48,480
you know, the universe is for
you, meaning the universe is on

763
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:51,200
your side.
And a lot of times I think that

764
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,880
people don't believe that or
remember that.

765
00:39:54,720 --> 00:39:58,440
And, and I also think that
there's karmic things that, you

766
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,120
know, the universe has no
control over because you created

767
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:04,520
them for yourselves.
But All in all, I think that if

768
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,520
we remember the universe is for
us or is on our side, we'll

769
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,720
start to see more and more of
these little, for lack of a

770
00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:15,400
better word, miracles or or acts
of service that.

771
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:21,600
You know, unexplicable or so
just out of the ordinary so.

772
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,960
Yeah, there's there's another
one that I wanted to bring up

773
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,880
because we've talked about
things that were very far in

774
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,760
history that makes me kind of
wondering for before just not

775
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,000
noticing them as much now, now
that we're older.

776
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:33,600
But there's something that
happened to Juliana, my

777
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:37,320
daughter, last week.
She had driven, she lives in

778
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:40,280
Arizona, as you know, and she
drove a friend of hers to

779
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,120
Flagstaff for doctor's
appointment.

780
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:47,160
And she had parked outside the
building, as one does usually,

781
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:50,760
and she was standing inside the
foyer there.

782
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:53,160
Her friend had already gone in,
I guess, and she was standing in

783
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:58,560
there looking out the window and
saw a man barrel his truck into

784
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,040
her car.
And it told her arm.

785
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:04,960
And she said it pushed her car
from the lane it was parked in

786
00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:08,080
up over one of those little
curbs, you know, that are on the

787
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,600
side over that into another
parking space.

788
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:14,040
And then it was angled.
And she said she just watched it

789
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:15,560
and there was nothing she could
do.

790
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,880
And she said it was devastating
because, you know, most people

791
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:19,960
don't have a ton of money to
replace a car at will.

792
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:26,440
And she saw this guy get out and
he was an older guy and he, he

793
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:30,400
had hit his chest very hard on
the steering wheel and she ran

794
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,080
out and other people ran out.
And it turned out what had

795
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:36,240
happened is because one thing
that most people think of, and I

796
00:41:36,240 --> 00:41:38,080
did at first is a medical
emergency.

797
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,480
Maybe he was having a heart
attack or stroke or whatever,

798
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,160
but he wasn't.
But what had happened is his

799
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:47,360
accelerator pedal had gotten
stuck, literally physically

800
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:51,680
stuck, and it was still stuck.
When the investigator, the

801
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:54,440
police investigator came to
look, it was stuck down.

802
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:56,760
The only reason it stopped is
because they turned it off.

803
00:41:56,760 --> 00:42:00,000
He had hit two or three cars
prior to Juliana's before he had

804
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,040
hers.
And she said the thing that was

805
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:06,280
most astounding about it is that
her car was what kept him from

806
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,720
going into the building and
hitting people inside.

807
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:13,880
And because it stopped, his
finally stopped his momentum

808
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,040
because I guess he was trying to
break too, but the accelerator

809
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:19,760
just wasn't having it.
And I'm not really sure if he

810
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,120
turned off his car at that
point.

811
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:24,600
I don't remember know exactly
how it stopped, but her parked

812
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:29,080
car gave the block that kept him
from going into the building.

813
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,480
And it looked like it was only 5
or 6 more feet and he would have

814
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,560
been inside.
There were people sitting there.

815
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,000
She wasn't sitting there because
she was kind of to the side, I

816
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:40,960
guess looking, but she was just
almost hysterical when all of

817
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,920
this happened and it hit the
driver's side of her car because

818
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,200
she had backed in.
So she, if she had been in the

819
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:49,040
car, would have been at least
hurt.

820
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:53,840
And if her kids have been in the
car or husband or whatever, it

821
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:55,200
could have been much more
devastating.

822
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:58,600
As it was, it was a huge
ginormous inconvenience because

823
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:01,960
her husband had to drive to get
her in Flagstaff, which is 2 1/2

824
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:03,280
hours each way and blah, blah,
blah.

825
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:08,320
But it turned out that the
investigator who was looking at

826
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:12,200
it said that he had the same
kind of car and he was going to

827
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:14,520
go check his because he said he
wondered if it was some sort of

828
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,680
some sort of global failure for
this particular vehicle in the

829
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,560
year.
And it was an older truck sort

830
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:20,800
of thing.
But.

831
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,480
And she said the guy ended up
looking like he was OK and the

832
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,720
other vehicles he hit were
unoccupied as well.

833
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,120
He was the only one that
obtained any injuries,

834
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,680
fortunately, in the scenario.
But that's one of those moments

835
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:36,840
that if any one of those things
had gone differently, the

836
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,320
outcome could have been
completely different as well.

837
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:43,320
It was bad enough having damage,
but nobody, I mean, most people

838
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:48,440
consider the vehicles not good,
but not as bad, of course, as

839
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:53,240
hurting or killing other people.
So that was last week, Gowser.

840
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:55,720
Wow, no kidding.
I know.

841
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:58,680
And she for three days just said
really struck her.

842
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:02,080
I mean, it was just really hard
for her because she knew it's

843
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,400
all those what ifs that you
think about later going, Oh my

844
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:05,840
gosh, what if this, what if
that?

845
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:08,840
And as it was, they had just
gotten a new specialized car

846
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:11,560
seat for Yoshi because of her
cerebral palsy and it was

847
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,880
damaged.
And you know, once it's been in

848
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:16,840
an accident, it can't be used
because it is compromised.

849
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:19,840
And so now they have that to
deal with as well.

850
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:22,240
But they did have her old one,
so they at least can keep her

851
00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:25,040
safe until it's replaced.
And, you know, they're doing all

852
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:27,160
the whole insurance things and
everything else.

853
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:30,040
But and so it'll take a minute
to resolve, but but it could

854
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:31,520
have been completely
devastating.

855
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:37,320
Yeah, absolutely.
So I've said it before.

856
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,720
I just want to say it again.
As we come to a close, we don't

857
00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:42,840
talk enough about the
humiliation of having to put

858
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,840
groceries back.
The eyes, the silence, the way

859
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,480
time seems to stretch.
People who've been there never

860
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:51,800
forget it, and people who
haven't often underestimate it.

861
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:53,840
And this isn't about budgeting
lectures.

862
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:57,160
It's about survival moments.
I keep thinking about that

863
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:59,760
version of me in the early 90s,
counting cash at a grocery

864
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:03,320
store, about how close I was to
needing grace from someone else,

865
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,520
and how that day the universe
handed it to me quietly, in

866
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,480
exact change.
If you're listening and you've

867
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:12,680
been there, I see you.
If you're listening and someday

868
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,240
you're the one who can step in.
Do it gently.

869
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,040
Do it quietly.
Because most people won't

870
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:21,680
remember what was bought, but
they will remember forever how

871
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:23,840
it felt to be spared.
I gave me chills.

872
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:29,160
Oh, me too, crying.
Oh, that's, that's beautiful.

873
00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:34,440
And I just feel like in our
climate now, in our society, I

874
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:38,680
think people more often respond
in a way of like, wait, why are

875
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:40,000
you doing this?
What's the catch?

876
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:41,920
There was one woman I saw in
these reels.

877
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:44,040
It's kind.
I mean, this is kind of ironic.

878
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,640
And part of the story, I guess,
is that I was watching all these

879
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:48,760
reels last night about this sort
of topic.

880
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,680
One of that's another.
Little, not from the universe, I

881
00:45:51,720 --> 00:45:53,760
think.
I know so exactly because I

882
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,280
don't normally sit there and
watch him.

883
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,920
I'm bawling.
And yeah, but this one woman,

884
00:45:58,120 --> 00:45:59,800
this person had come up and
paid.

885
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,720
And the woman's woman said I'm
not worthy of that.

886
00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:05,400
And the clerk said you
absolutely are.

887
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:07,800
And the clerk didn't have
anything to do with, I mean, the

888
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,160
clerk knew that this lady was
there paying for stuff for

889
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:13,440
people.
But the clerk said, no, you are

890
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,720
worthy.
And the person just looked at

891
00:46:15,720 --> 00:46:19,640
her like, Are you sure?
You know, she and and she just

892
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,720
kept saying thank you.
And the lady who paid for it was

893
00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:24,720
nearby.
But she came in and out so

894
00:46:24,720 --> 00:46:27,440
quickly that the people didn't
necessarily know who she was.

895
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:30,680
And the clerk said she's just an
Angel.

896
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:34,400
She's an Angel who comes to.
That's so sweet.

897
00:46:34,720 --> 00:46:38,920
It is, I feel like the woman who
said she wasn't worthy of it, I

898
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:43,400
feel so sad about that because
people are sometimes when

899
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:47,120
they're in situations of air
quotes need, like you said in

900
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:49,800
the beginning, are treated so
poorly sometimes.

901
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:52,400
Yeah, there are people that make
the choice of taking advantage

902
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:54,880
of the system, but I think
that's much more rare than we.

903
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:59,280
We are made to believe that most
people are just in a tight spot

904
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:00,840
and they're doing everything
they can.

905
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:04,360
And many, many people who get
these services are working at

906
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:07,880
least one full time job and
sometimes more and still can't

907
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:10,240
make it.
And so that I think is where

908
00:47:10,240 --> 00:47:13,560
that grace comes in for the rest
of us to remember that, like you

909
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:15,600
said, and to look for
opportunities.

910
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:19,920
Even if we can't provide money
per SE or something like that,

911
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:23,280
at least we can provide the
kindness and the gentleness that

912
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:27,320
the people need and that we all
need for one another, even if we

913
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:30,240
don't look in a bad situation.
There's one.

914
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:33,080
There's an artist I had used to
listen to.

915
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:35,560
Oh yeah, he, his name is Michael
McLean.

916
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:38,440
And he had a lot of songs that
were, you know, the heartstring

917
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:42,480
kind of polar songs.
And the one song, it had a line

918
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:46,040
in it and said everyone is
fighting their own private wars.

919
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,880
And I've always remembered that
both for myself and for other

920
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:52,120
people because most of the time
we have no idea what people are

921
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,840
dealing with.
I remember when I had to go

922
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:57,720
shopping right after I got my
cancer diagnosis and my entire

923
00:47:57,720 --> 00:47:59,840
world had shift started
shifting.

924
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:02,120
I didn't yet know how it would
shift, but I knew it was

925
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,960
shifting, doing a normal thing.
And people are treating me like

926
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:07,480
a normal person.
And inside me was yelling, it's

927
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:12,320
not OK and things are not OK.
And but I mean, I'm not going to

928
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,760
stand there and yell that even
though my inside yelling that

929
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,640
that we're all in situations
like that even sometimes on a

930
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:20,960
daily basis for moments at a
time going.

931
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:24,160
How could this be when other
people cannot see and do not

932
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,680
know?
And that's where I think that's

933
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:31,200
when we do the human kindness
thing is just assume that this

934
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:33,920
person may have done this for
something that has nothing to do

935
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,440
with the situation at hand.
Because often we don't.

936
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:40,240
We may react in a way that makes
no sense to anyone else, but

937
00:48:40,240 --> 00:48:42,720
they also don't know the story
that's going on in our hearts

938
00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:44,280
and our heads.
Yeah.

939
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:46,200
Thank you.
That was very touching.

940
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:49,320
We must be feeling very
sensitive at this time of year,

941
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:52,880
since we must be.
We've got a couple of topics.

942
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,560
Also, we had committed that we
wouldn't do murder on every

943
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:57,360
episode, which we ever want to
do.

944
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:00,200
But yes.
But I do like this because some

945
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:03,640
of these mysteries are not
explainable and really I don't

946
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,560
want them explained a lot of
times.

947
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:07,480
Yeah, I don't.
I don't need them explained.

948
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,880
So just to know that that these
things happen and that people

949
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:14,720
are peopling in a good way is
really nice.

950
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,280
Thank you.
This is is just a nice uplifting

951
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,760
moment.
Yeah, and if you have stories

952
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:22,720
like this you'd like to share,
we would love to hear them.

953
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,360
Oh, and one thing I was going to
tell you is that there have been

954
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:29,240
a few people that have become
our loyal listeners that have

955
00:49:29,240 --> 00:49:31,320
had questions and they're going
to start asking us.

956
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:34,680
So you know how we say we read
our emails?

957
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,080
We probably better.
Mostly.

958
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:41,320
Mostly we will try anyway so.
We will read every e-mail.

959
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:43,680
All right.
Well, thank you so much.

960
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:46,320
Thank you.
All right, if you've made it

961
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,920
this far, clearly you like a
little mayhem with your

962
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,000
medicine.
Or you just enjoy hearing us

963
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:52,840
ramble about weird medical
mysteries.

964
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:54,720
Either way, we'd love you for
it.

965
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,640
So hit that follow or subscribe
button wherever you're

966
00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:59,560
listening.
And toss us a rating or review

967
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:02,600
while you're at it.
Helps other curious weirdos find

968
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:05,240
the show.
And we know there are a lot of

969
00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:07,400
you out there.
Oh so many.

970
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:09,800
Come join the chaos.
Thanks for listening to

971
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:12,880
Medicine, Mystery, mayhem, and
sometimes Murder.

972
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:16,000
Do you have an idea for an
episode of this podcast?

973
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:19,320
Just want to say hi?
You can get in touch with us at

974
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:24,040
our M4 pod.
That's OURM

975
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:30,560
thenumberfourpod@gmail.com.
We read every e-mail, and

976
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:33,920
sometimes we even respond just
like real professionals.

977
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:38,480
Because we are.
Old friends with new twists and

978
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:40,040
lots of body bags.